Take the quiz below to find out about your attachment style.

1. You’ve been dating someone for a month and they take a full day to reply to a message. What happens in your head?

A. Honestly, the space feels like a relief.

B. I re-read my last message looking for what I did wrong.

C. I assume they’re busy and get on with my day.

D. I swing between wanting to double text and wanting to end it.

3. An argument with a partner usually ends with you...

A. Shutting down or leaving; I deal with things alone.

B. Needing reassurance that we’re okay — sometimes more than once.

C. Talking it through once we’ve both cooled off.

D. Blowing up, then withdrawing, then feeling ashamed of both.

4. Be honest: how do you feel about needing someone?

A. Needing people is how you get hurt. I rely on myself.

B. I need people more than they ever seem to need me.

C. It’s human. Needing people is how love works.

D. I desperately want to need someone — and I don’t trust anyone enough to.

5. Your partner says: “We need to talk tonight.” Your first reaction is...

A. Irritation — why the drama? I brace to defend my territory.

B. Full spiral. I mentally rehearse the breakup all day.

C. Curious, maybe a little nervous. I’ll find out tonight.

D. Dread. I imagine the worst and start pulling away before it happens.

6. Which sentence sounds most like your inner voice about past relationships?

A. They always wanted more than I could give.

B. I gave everything and it still wasn’t enough.

C. Some worked, some didn’t — I learned from most of them.

D. I ruin things when they get close to good.

7. How do you behave in the first few weeks of seeing someone new?

A. Interested but guarded; they’ll know slowly, if at all.

B. All in, fast. I know it’s fast. I do it anyway.

C. Open but paced — I let it unfold.

D. Intense connection, then a sudden urge to disappear.

8. Your partner is upset about something unrelated to you. You...

A. Give them space — mostly because feelings talk drains me.

B. Feel anxious until they’re okay again; their mood becomes my mood.

C. Ask what they need — comfort, solutions, or space.

D. Want to help but worry I’ll make it worse, so I hover awkwardly.

9. What does “space” in a relationship mean to you?

A. Oxygen. Non-negotiable.

B. I ask for it, then feel abandoned when I get it.

C. Healthy — we’re two whole people.

D. A warning sign. Space is where relationships go to die.

10. When someone consistently shows up for you, part of you...

A. Gets suspicious or a little bored.

B. Waits for the catch. Safe feels unfamiliar, and unfamiliar feels unsafe.

C. Relaxes. This is what it’s supposed to feel like.

D. Keeps testing it. Will they still show up if I’m difficult?

11. Your ideal weekend with a long-term partner looks like...

A. Parallel play: same house, separate projects, minimal demands.

B. Together as much as possible; apart feels like wasted time.

C. A mix — some together, some apart, no scorekeeping.

D. Depends entirely on the week — sometimes glued to them, sometimes gone.

12. Why did you take this quiz?

A. Someone said “that’s so you” and it stuck with me.

B. My relationships feel like chaos and I’m tired of it.

C. Curiosity — I like understanding myself.

D. I keep ending up in the same painful place and I want to know why.

YOUR RESULTS

Mostly A’s — Avoidant Attachment

Your work is about allowing closeness without losing your sense of independence.

Helpful shifts:

• Practice sharing small emotional truths

• Notice when you withdraw and pause before acting

• Communicate your need for space calmly and early

• Let safe people in slowly, at your pace

• Explore vulnerability in manageable steps

Core healing direction: Learning that closeness doesn’t have to overwhelm you.

Mostly C’s — Secure Attachment

Your work is about maintaining your stability and choosing relationships that honour it.

Helpful shifts:

• Keep practising open communication

• Maintain boundaries that protect your wellbeing

• Avoid relationships that destabilise your emotional balance

• Continue building emotional awareness and empathy

• Choose partners who reciprocate your steadiness

Core healing direction: Strengthening the secure patterns you already have.

Mostly B’s — Anxious Attachment

Your work is about building internal safety so you don’t rely solely on reassurance.

Helpful shifts:

• Slow down early attachment

• Practice grounding techniques when you feel activated

• Challenge the urge to overthink or seek immediate reassurance

• Build a life that feels full and stable outside of relationships

• Choose partners who are consistent and emotionally available

Core healing direction: Learning that you can feel secure even when someone isn’t immediately available.

Mostly D’s — Fearful‑Avoidant Attachment

Your work is about creating safety in both closeness and independence.

Helpful shifts:

• Learn nervous system regulation

• Build trust slowly with consistent, safe partners

• Notice push‑pull impulses and pause before reacting

• Explore vulnerability gently, with support

• Work through the root wounds behind your mixed signals

Core healing direction: Learning that connection can be safe, predictable, and non‑threatening.